A: Right now the highstreet is awash with tumbleweed, enshrining transitional boredom with nothing more on offer than graphic tee's, gingham reinterpretaions (come on guys, we all have at least 2 shirt's in varying colour schemes) yada yada yada... So to pass the boredom, here at Maison Versayce we serve up the designer looks that are to be passed on to us common folks over the next few months. With added commentary flavour from C&A. First up, Prada (Click the pictures for a much, much higher quality).
A: Playing with shape and form is all fine and dandy when you want to get your collections in edgier fashion magazines, but darling Miucia's play on our beloved waistcoat puzzles me more than a piece of kosher bacon. I'll be sure to wear this when I want to avoid getting speghetti sauce on favourite shirt.
C: I love the way the baggy-jeans-showing-your-pants thing, so current in 2005 has percolated into men's tailoring here. It's so inventive. Really credible. Really works. Pas!
A: Sorry, not even Julian Clarey would be caught mincing around in this shiteous outfit. And what is with that bag, I'm sure I spotted it in the half price bin at Accessorize last Xmas.
C: Cardinal sin alert!!! Men's trousers should never ever ever ever in a million and 1 years accentuate the hips, as it's devastatingly emasculating. It is an M&S cut for the woman of a certain age. I'm gagging with disdain.
A: Now even the gays can slosh around in mud at the VIP tent at V festival next year with these babies.
C: Reminds me of those halloween skeleton costumes with the bones printed on. Except in bile yellow. Nice touch.
A: Redrum! Redrum! Red is going to be a big trend this season, but this look is a law suit waiting to happen due to damaged retinas left, right & centre.
A: Supremely Delish! The diamond shaped lapels and the colour put this little number in my fall look book.
C: But not with wellies. It's a sure fire way to look a total fick.
A: Abra Cadabra! I wanna reach out and grab this fine outfit. Each one of these pieces could be worn seperately, but all together, two words, Graham Norton.
C: Your two words hit bullseye.
A: Oh yes. Now we are talking, this outfit is xmas party perfection. It's about textured fabrics with a touch of colour highlighting.
C: I think fabrics with coloured highlights or scheens look a bit, East-meets-West. Reminds me of Ciro Ceterio. It runs up to me and shouts "cheap & tacky" in my ear. I turn in disgust.
A: Note to Burton/Mark&Sparks/River Island. Make a carbon copy of this shirt ASAFP!
C: Don't get the superfluous collar thing. But I'm listening...
A: Look! When your model is falling asleep 20 steps on to the catwalk, you know your outfit is boring.