Keep that motor running!

I could teach that Siegfried Fraud a thing or two about psychology. Today, whilst frazing in the over-grown jungle of Oxford Street I experience that rare, primordial phenomena: the Snatch-Buy. Whereas the IGN (involuntary gay noise) comes from a place beyond our conscious control (the subconscious eh, Fraud?); the Snatch-Buy is from the lowest level of our brains. It's a motor instinct.

There I was having little more than a disinterested glance over H&M flagship's usual unappealing stirfry of men's accessories, when BAM!! Without even the split second it takes to IGN, my hand shot out and grabbed. And at the same instant my brain froze and fist tightened, as possession of the article became the sole focus of living for the next few moments.

Fortunately in the modern world we rarely (apart from sale time) have to fight to make something ours. We invented the credit card for that. World peace followed. Even better that this particular Snatch-Buy costs less than a packet of 20 (£4.99).

About a year ago I tried to make one of these babies out of an old bowtie and some fabric. The missing element from this was any practical talent on my part. It made the Heidelberg disaster look like a grazed knee. Trust. I do love it when the High Street catches up with what I want.


A: Order has been placed to London Versayce HQ for one of these. C will send one to avoid a possible death sentence. Add some lace to this baby for full dark romance effect.