A: Versace. Just saying the word makes you feel cheap. Over the past decade this brand has come to symbolize a new breed of 'nouvelle riche' through the use of tacky fabrics, nauseating prints & flesh baring cuts. So it was to my surprise when I saw this A/W collections from the mock-croc skinned Donatella, which although quite bold, is borderline minimalist for Versace. (Click the pictures for a much higher quality)
C: Blue teamed with black: love. Shiny suit fabric: Ford Mondeo.
A: One of my favourite pieces of this collection. The asymmetrical buttons are fantastic and I'm guessing could be very flattering (until I see it on a size XXL man...). Somebody has to do a 'decent' knock-off of this. Fast!
A: Well. I am guessing Donatella has to keep her main customers happy. Even Snoop needs something to wear at his Aspen lodge in January underneath his mink coat.
C: Chunk, double-breasted, blue/black - as right as bacon, lettuce & tomato.
A: What is it with Versace and pimp looks? The length of this coat is soooooooooo unflattering, unless you are 7 ft tall. The head to toe plum theme is also a little bit nauseating. Not Hot.
A: Much better. Pea coats are so much more flattering on men, of all sizes, especially since they tend to disguise those post-xmas love handles we tend to get after all those puddings (& stuffing & champagne & nuts & ........................ ). Again, love those buttons.
C: Plum pud I can stomach. Various shades of plum trousers, coats, ties, shirts all at once makes a guy look like he was dressed by Dulux Colour at B&Q. Retch.
A: Hrrrrrrnnnnnkkk! The blazer makes me wanna turn tricks! Into the look book!
C: Don't understand what's going on with that lapel, but knowledge is over-rated anyway. It looks hawt.
A: This coat is something out of a Sean John look book. Seriously, who would wear this other than P Diddy?
A: Ok so, back to the good stuff. The biker look is a big theme this season and, obviously, the essential item is a good, well fitted biker jacket. I actually quite like that Donatella made a biker jacket in brown, since black leather can be a bit harsh on lighter skin tones.
A: Ummmm, Columbine. Much?
C: I'm calling my mum. I'm scared. Weedy pschycos in long leather coats spells an end where your limbs are going to the tip in separate bin bags.
A: I cannot wait to see some queen rocking this look down the high street, only so I can pelt St. Tropez all over it!
A: That suit is about as flattering on him as a crack pipe was on Whitney Houston. WTF is that tacky fabric?
A: Ooooo, I think we missed a small detail in that photo. Lets Zoom in....
C: Ms Brightman, this is your 5 minute call. 5 minutes please.